


Accident

by warcatscat



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Car Accidents, Gen, Hospitals, Minor Injuries, Neglectful Medical Staff, Panic Attacks, Shock, Talk of Chronic Medical Conditions, Trauma, medical talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 19:00:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15371229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warcatscat/pseuds/warcatscat
Summary: Patton is in a car accident.





	1. The Event

**Author's Note:**

> I am Warcats-Cat on tumblr, and you can find the fic there as well, having been posted much earlier to tublr. THIS FIC CONTAINS THE GRAPHIC DEPICTION OF A CAR ACCIDENT AND THE EVENTS THAT FOLLOW. It contains details from the car accident that I was personally in, to the best of my memory, with a few events changed or added in as I was told about them, and obviously the characters were changed around. Please read with caution.

There was rain falling on his head, dripping onto his glasses, and making it harder to see.

“You’re going into shock, sweetheart.”

He was shaking all over. His ear was still ringing, and it hurt so badly.

“Can you tell me your name?”

He was trying to just remember how to breathe.

“I’m sorry.” He responded. “I didn’t see him.”

“It’s ok.” There was a woman sitting next to him. She had told him she was a nurse, but he couldn’t remember her name. “Accidents happen. That’s why it’s called a car accident. What’s your name, sweetheart?”

“Patton. Patton Hart.”

An umbrella was suddenly above him. He must have missed the other woman with him leaving to get it. Patton could hear sirens in the distance.

He hadn’t even seen the other driver. He had stopped and looked both ways. He had never seen him.

Patton could remember looking out the window as he turned, and the panic of realizing there was another car hurtling towards him in the rain. He could remember his foot pressing the gas as hard as he could, hoping in that split second for a miracle.

Patton could remember the split second in between, when he gripped the steering wheel as hard as he could and tucked his head down just slightly, not even consciously, as his car was sent spinning and finally landing.

Patton could remember the seconds after, dimly thinking that he had never known there was an airbag above his window, and that the one in the steering wheel hadn’t gone off. That his car was talking to him. That his left ear was burning, and ringing, and it felt like a gunshot had gone off right next to his face.

Patton could remember jumping out of his car and running over to the other driver, the only thing he could manage to say was to ask if he was ok. The other driver wouldn’t even talk to him.

Now he was sitting on the curb of a parking lot just off the road. There was a woman who apparently was a nurse talking to him. He was going into shock. He couldn’t stop crying.

“Could … could one of you please get the lamb from my car?” he asked quietly. He felt stupid as it came out of his mouth. An air freshener that doubled as a stuffed animal that Roman had bought him for some reason he couldn’t remember. He needed something in his hands. Maybe it would keep his brain and body from falling apart.

_Logan._

Logan was still at work, and wouldn’t be home for at least another hour. But Logan would know what to do. What to say. Virgil was halfway across town. Roman was somewhere for an audition, and Patton was kicking himself for not being able to remember where.

“I need to call my housemate.” Patton told the nurse, as the stuffie-lamb was passed into his hands. At some point he had taken off his glasses, trying to keep them from getting more speckled with rain. He kept the lamb in one hand and wiggled his cell phone from his pocket with the other. His hands were shaking as he tried to dial, even using speed dial was difficult.

“Hello? Patton?” Logan’s voice started Patton’s crying again in full force.

“Logan I was just in a car accident.” The words rushed out of his mouth, pinched with his crying. “I didn’t even see the other driver. Oh my god. I don’t know what to do.”

“Patton you have to breathe. Are you alright?” Logan asked. His voice was tight, and he spoke quickly.

“My ear hurts. And my shoulder.” Patton felt like he was fixating on his ear. He had only just stopped holding onto it, in the same way a child holds onto a paper cut or a pained wrist.

“Did you speak with the other driver? Did you get his information?”

“No, I…” Patton didn’t know what to say. The other driver wouldn’t even talk to him, and kept loudly proclaiming that his back ‘kinda hurt, a little.’ Patton could hear sirens getting louder. “I don’t really know what happened. I didn’t see him. I was turning and I was fully stopped and I looked both ways twice and I swear I didn’t see him.”

“Patton, please, you need to try to breathe. Have the police gotten there? Are you still in the road?”

“No, they’re not here yet but I can hear them. There’s some ladies here with me.” Patton said. He gave the lamb another squeeze. The woman holding the umbrella was speaking with the other driver now, and taking down notes for Patton. When had that happened?

“That’s good. May I speak with one of them?”

Patton nodded in response. It wouldn’t occur to him until later that Logan couldn’t actually see him doing that. He pulled the phone just slightly away from his good ear. The left one had stopped ringing but still stung pretty badly.

“My housemate wants to talk to you. Is that ok?” Patton asked the nurse quietly. She smiled gently at him and gave an affirmative, and Patton passed over the phone.

As soon as the phone was out of his hand, there were too many people talking to him. There was a man he was fairly sure was a firefighter trying to ask him questions, and someone he hadn’t yet spoken with trying to interpret all of his answers to the fireman as answers to her, and other people making noise and the sounds of cars slowly being allowed to pass and it was all far too much.

He snapped, “Please there’s too many people and I can’t think!”

The fireman took that as an attack on him, and made a face and dismissive motion, and then Patton was tripping over himself to apologize. The nurse handed back the phone and smiled again.

“It’s alright, sweetheart; it’s ok to be overwhelmed.”

“Patton?” Logan’s voice sounded again on the phone. “I’m on my way home right now. Can you have them take you to Mercy Hospital when the ambulance arrives? I will meet you there as soon as I can. I will also call Virgil and Roman. Do you want me to stay with you on the phone?”

“No.” Patton said. His phone made a mid-call beep to tell him that someone was trying to get ahold of him. “I think someone else is trying to call.”

“Alright. It’s going to be ok, Patton. The important thing is that everyone is conscious and speaking. No one was seriously injured. I’m going to hang up now. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

Logan never said that unless something was wrong. If nothing was wrong, why had an ambulance been called? He hung up with Logan and was immediately greeted with a call from Virgil. “H-Hey, Virge.” He tried, but couldn’t help the shake in his voice.

“Pat? Patton are you ok? I got a text from Logan like twenty minutes ago that you were in a car accident?? Are you ok?” Virgil was almost as upset as Patton was. At least, he sounded that way. But Virgil was also prone to over-panicking, especially concerning his housemates. They often felt as though they were all each other had, and Virgil felt that loneliness the most keenly of the four.

“I’m scared.” Patton responded honestly. “I’m scared and I’m upset and I wish I had just gone home.”

“Don’t.” Virgil started. “You can’t do that, remember? You can’t stick on the what-if’s. If I can’t, you can’t.”

“I know that. But it’s hard.” Patton heard more sirens. The ambulance this time. He was thinking about the costs and insurance and his car and everything else their house of four was splitting between them that was now going to be significantly strained. “I think the ambulance is here. I have to go.”

“Ok, Pat. I’ll see you there.” Virgil’s voice was soft. The ambulance had arrived and Patton was being escorted onto it. He felt like he was running out of time. He had never been on an ambulance before. He toyed with the plastic clip on the lamb in his free hand.

“You’d better drive safe, mister.” It was automatic. Patton had always worried about his friends, his  _family_ , and always told them to drive safe. It was out of his mouth well before the irony of the statement registered with him. Virgil chuckled, and it was a little watery.

“I will. Always.” And with that he hung up. Patton was loaded into the ambulance. The person sitting in the back with him strapped him onto a rolling bed and looked miffed when Patton responded to the question of whether he needed anything with a request to retrieve his nearly-forgotten dinner. The rest of the ride was filled with only the noise of both medic’s radios reporting in and out and making noises that Patton couldn’t really make out.

As the ambulance drove on, Patton was hyper-aware of every bump and crack and tumble that passed under the wheels. His face was sticky and his nose was stuffed and he rubbed his thumbs along the soft fur of the lamb now clutched in both of his hands. He felt terribly unsafe as the ambulance made a wide turn onto the highway and his rolling bed rolled widely to one side before the medic caught the bed and held it in place. All at once the trip to the hospital was achingly long and passed in a blur. The what-if’s of his evening clogged his brain. His ear had finally stopped hurting.

The ambulance finally stopped at the emergency entrance, and he was being unloaded. His glasses were sitting in his lap with his phone, but when the doors opened he could still see someone just outside. Someone in loose black yoga pants and a red top, someone who had clearly been doing something entirely different just a half hour ago. Patton started to tear up again.

“Is that your brother?” the medic asked. Patton felt stupid and small all over again, and couldn’t even understand why.

“No, he’s my housemate. But he might as well be my brother.”

The medic didn’t respond, but Roman walked over to the bed, and once again, Patton was told to breathe. Roman walked alongside the bed as it was pushed in through the maze of hallways and doors.

“Lean back, Padre. Relax. You’re ok.” He said. Patton hadn’t even realized he was forcing himself to lean up. He let his shoulders and head lay back against the slightly inclined bed and watched the ceiling as it passed above him. People were talking. Probably talking to him. But as he tried to lean up again, he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, closer to his collarbone than the forming bruise and strained muscles. “Easy. Just lay back, ok? You’re ok. Logan and Virgil will be here in just a few minutes.”

Patton tried to lay back again. He fiddled with the lamb. He was pulled into a hospital room and the bed was lowered, and he had to sit up to move off the ambulance’s bed and onto the hospital’s bed. There were too many beds, quite frankly, and not a single one of them comfortable.

The hospital’s bed, at least, was inclined better, so he felt like he was sitting up and could see everyone. Roman sat in one of the chairs next to him, politely smiling at the nurses, while they worked to confirm Patton’s name, date of birth, etc. Patton was given a plastic bracelet with a barcode and finally they left.

Finally, Patton was alone.

He couldn’t help himself, he started crying again, and Roman moved to the bed and took Patton carefully in his arms for a hug. It was awkward, but it helped and Patton finally started to feel grounded.

And, of course, Roman’s phone began buzzing in his pocket right then. “Ah, the others are here. I’ll be right back to show them in, ok?”

Patton almost didn’t want to let him go, but he watched as Roman left and fiddled with the lamb and wormed his own cell phone back into his pocket, and then wormed his wallet out to give a passing nurse his insurance hard.

Logan all but stormed into the room, taking up a spot close to Patton’s feet after giving him a one-armed hug, bumping his left shoulder on accident. Roman came in after with Virgil not far behind. Virgil’s face was pinched, his upper lip curled slightly as he looked up and forced himself to breathe through his nose.

He’s scared. He’s been scared. It’s starting to hit all four of them.

Roman pulled him aside slightly; not out of the room, but away from his first position just a few inches from the foot of Patton’s bed. Roman took Virgil by the shoulders and looked into his eyes.

“Look. He’s fine. He’s fine, and he’s awake, and he’s talking. He’s gonna be ok. We’re all gonna be ok, Virge.”

Virgil swallowed hard and moved over to Patton’s right side, and stood there for a minute. He leaned over and gently pressed his forehead against Patton’s. It was affectionate and gentle, and Patton reached up with his good arm and wrapped it around Virgil’s shoulders to pull him closer, because they were both still scared out of their minds. But they could finally start to relax.

The four spent the next three hours in the hospital just waiting. Patton’s request to use the restroom was met favorably. His request to eat his dinner was met with an angry nurse loudly and rudely reminding him that he is  _in a hospital_  and was  _in a car accident_  and  _‘if you’re only worried about eating right now then you shouldn’t have come to the hospital in the first place.’_

Patton tried not to cry again as he explained that he hadn’t had anything since early this morning, and his medical record did show a condition induced by stress and low blood sugar, and he didn’t want to faint on top of everything else. The nurse left in a huff. The doctor came in to ask if he wanted anything to eat or drink. The doctor returned with apple juice, just in case.

Virgil was the only one who remained standing through everything. Maybe he just couldn’t make himself sit. Patton was sure that, if their positions were reversed, he would have done the same thing. Roman sat in a chair to his left. Logan was sitting in a chair at his feet, and right next to the door. Patton could feel himself starting to relax as the fear wore off and he continued to be surrounded by his family.

Roman had to tell him, gently, to stop obsessing on what-if’s and maybes, saying that they would only eat him alive in the end. Roman was right, of course, but Patton couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to be there, in that moment. He wanted to be at home, talking about his day at work, and looking forward to tomorrow, and listening to the others talk about whatever they did today, and seeing their happy faces.

Instead, everyone’s faces are pinched, and the room is largely silent.

They sat in the hospital for three hours and finally, the doctor came in with papers. One for insurance. One for the bill for their copay. One for work tomorrow, in case he wakes up and doesn’t want to go in. (His boss had already called, frantically, and told him that he would  _‘not be coming in tomorrow for any reason because you need to rest.’_ )  There are other papers, but Logan took them all, likely to keep Patton from worrying.

Someone offered Patton a wheelchair for his walk out to the main exit where Roman’s car was. Roman would be the one driving him home, and then the duty of rides to and from work and other places would be split. Patton declined the wheelchair. There were other people who probably needed it a lot more than he would. Still, Virgil took his good arm and carefully walked alongside Patton all the way to Roman’s car, and didn’t let go until Patton was seated in the driver’s seat. Virgil pressed his forehead against Patton’s again, and Patton gave him a little kiss on his nose.

“I’ll see you at home, kiddo.” He couldn’t say ‘drive safe’ again. He didn’t know why he couldn’t.

Logan comes over next, and gave Patton another gentle hug, carefully wrapping his right arm under Patton’s left to avoid the bruising. He said nothing, but that was ok. Logan’s eyes gave the impression that his brain was running a marathon. The hug said everything that needed to be said.

Roman got into the driver’s seat as Logan and Virgil went to find their own cars and head home. Patton pulled the seatbelt across his chest as Roman started the car, already buckled in. Patton looked out the window the entire time. Roman had turned the radio off. The drive was silent save for the sounds of the road.

Patton could feel the car move. The road was familiar; the one he took nearly every day to work, and back-and-forth from the craft store, and some old friend’s houses, and in general when he would drive. He’s never noticed all the cracks and bumps under the wheel before. He’s never noticed the noises that the tires make against the asphalt. He’s never noticed anything other than the cars around him as he drives, and the path ahead that he has come to know like the back of his hand.

In that moment, however, those were the only things he could focus on; the cracks and the potholes and the bumps. Every turn picked up the pace of his breathing, just for a moment. Every car that passed on the two-lane road was the sole object of his focus until it was past once again. The road was dark in the evening light, and the blinding headlights of other cars were, mercifully, few and far between.

He’s never had trouble driving before. Now he sat wondering how long it would be before he had that comfort back.

They arrived home in the blink of an eye; Logan and Virgil already there. Patton walked upstairs to his bedroom almost like a zombie. He dressed for bed, and took his medicine, and laid his glasses on his nightstand mechanically. He had carried the lamb up all the way to his room, and now it sat there on his desk. He went over to grab it and laid back down, holding it tightly.

Patton cried himself to sleep, confused and scared and exhausted.

He never saw the other driver.

He should have gone straight home from work.


	2. A Month and the Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month after the accident, Patton is still struggling with the incident. Thankfully, Logan is home and always willing to lend a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now on tumblr under Warcats-Cat!

Patton stormed into the kitchen through their small garage, kicking his shoes off slightly more roughly than necessary as he went. Logan sat at the kitchen table, something savory-smelling in the oven, reading. 

 

“And what has happened?” Logan asked, his voice neutral and without looking up. 

 

“I hate that car. It's awful! I should have never bought it!” Patton started gruffly, perhaps more nastily than he really intended, “I should have never let  _ you _ talk me into buying it!” He shoved an accusatory finger in Logan's direction as he moved to make himself a cup of tea. Something to hopefully calm him down.

 

Logan sighed through his nose and glanced up at Patton, watching as the other tramped around the kitchen as if he could physically stomp the anger out of his body. 

 

Ah, he had such temper tantrums.

 

“What has happened  _ now _ ?” Logan asked. The behavior had been slowly building since Patton had gotten the car, to replace the one he had totaled a month prior. It was well out of place on the usually calm and positive man; but it was somewhat to be expected with all of the stress he had been holding onto since that day. 

 

Patton grumbled as Logan finally shut and set the book aside. “I don't like it! It's--” Patton flexed his fingers and worked his jaw, as if he could capture and chew the thoughts in his head and spit them out as the exact word he needed, “It's grumpy!”

 

That brought a small smile to Logan's face. There was his silly friend, shining through the angry haze. “It’s grumpy?” He questioned.

 

“Yeah! It's grumpy!” Patton answered, turning to Logan for a moment, “it buckles when I turn and the horn is going bad and the air conditioner doesn't work and the steering doesn't move like I want it to. It's a grumpy car!” He stomped with an air of finality and turned back to his tea. 

 

Logan shook his head fondly. “Alright then. What exactly do you mean by 'buckles when you turn’?” 

 

“It just…” Patton sighed and paused a moment, setting his hands on the counter but leaning back a bit. “I go to make a turn and the wheels swerve before it starts going, or it does that in the middle of a turn and it's….” He trailed off and began fiddling with a packet of sweetener.

 

Logan pressed, although he had a feeling he already knew the answer, “it's what?”

 

Patton flicked the packet a few more times before answering, quietly, almost meekly. “It's scary.”

 

Logan quietly pushed his book aside and stood, moving to circle his arms around Patton's waist from behind. He knew that his housemate found deep comfort in physical gestures, and that was something that Logan was always ready to provide, even if it wasn't something that he himself enjoyed. 

 

“I was turning left when I… when it happened. And it feels like this new car just  _ knows _ that somehow. It only happens on left turns. And there's always another car coming at me and I-” Patton’s voice became thicker as he tried not to cry. Logan held his waist a bit tighter, and Patton leaned into him, letting his head rest against Logan's just lightly. 

 

“You know, most would not have even begun driving as quickly as you did. You were behind the wheel again not two weeks after the accident. You must remember to account for the fact that this is still a wound you are trying to heal.” Logan said softly. 

 

Patton set the packet down and tapped his fingers on the countertop. A few tears dripped down from his eyes as his emotions overwhelmed him. “I know that. I just- every time it happens all I can think about is the noise and the spinning and I was so stupid to make the turn in the first place and-”

 

“No. We talked about this.” Logan fully snaked his arms around Patton's waist, giving him a slightly backwards but otherwise full hug. “You were as careful as you could have been under the given conditions. No one was hurt. This is the first time you had been in an accident and it was a relatively traumatizing experience. But you cannot speak so negatively of something that happened that was an  **_accident_ ** .” His voice was firm but not harsh. He felt Patton shudder a bit as the man began to fully cry, and he gently turned him to give him a more conventional (and more comforting) hug.

 

“I just want to go back. Before it happened. Just go home and not get dinner. Not turn off the street. Anything.” Patton’s crying was slowly soaking into Logan's shirt as he held his friend. This was not the first time this conversation had been had, but it had certainly been a while since the last. 

 

Logan hummed lightly and rocked his friend slightly on the balls of his feet. He let Patton cry; the best way to allow the other time to calm down. 

 

“I know that. But we live time as a linear journey. We cannot go back and change things. And I know that this has been a difficult experience, between the costs of a new, albeit previously owned, vehicle, and trying to balance your time at work and other obligations.” Logan searched for a while for the right words, continuing to hum as he thought. 

 

“You are unaccountably brave to have pushed yourself into driving so soon after the accident. And I think now that decision and the stress it carries is beginning to catch up with you. But you have to keep in mind that you are still allowed to be upset, and uncomfortable, and anything else. What is it that you always tell Virgil?” Logan smirked as he tipped his head down to look at the man curled into his chest. 

 

Patton sniffled but a tiny smile broke through as he rubbed tears away from under his glasses. “Feeling things makes a person a person. And you have to let yourself feel things to be healthy.” He said softly. 

 

“Exactly.” Logan said gently. “Therefore, it is only logical that you follow your own line of thinking and give yourself the time to experience and release your emotions. And then you will heal, and things will be easier, yes?”

 

“Yeah, I guess.” Patton said softly. He sniffled again, and Logan semi-proudly noted that the crying had all but stopped. 

 

They stayed that way for a while, until the teapot began to whistle and the oven’s timer chimed. Patton squeezed around the base of Logan's chest in a tight hug of thanks, and pressed his face into Logan's chest plate for a brief moment before turning to quiet the 'angry pot’ as he called it. Logan moved to grab his oven mitts and pull their dinner from the oven, as the pair heard their garage door opening once again, signaling the return home of their other housemates. 

 

“Logan?” Patton asked, in their few remaining minutes of silence. 

 

“Hm?” 

 

“I think I need to put stickers on the new car. Maybe it's just upset because it doesn't have any.” 

 

Logan smiled broadly at his curious, confusing, and bubbly housemate, shaking his head at the sudden turn in thought. He pulled dinner from the oven and set it aside as the others walked in, and their cozy home was once again filled and smiling.

 

“Of course, that must be it.”


End file.
